#Writing #BloodofSilenceSeries #BloodofSilence #BoS
Been looking everywhere for you
I followed the sound of your innocent laughter
And it guided me in the right way
Even if every piece of you disappeared
And if it scattered everywhere
No, I won't waver, I'll start back at one
Look for you all over again
Or maybe instead I'll take the whole universe
Right back to zero again
Zenzenzense (Past Past Past Life) - Your Name
I had arrived in a village to fulfil a request specifically asking for my help in something of "utmost importance", only to find that no such individual existed. Irritated at getting prank called all the way out here, I was about to leave when a particular conversation perked my ears.
"Did you see the Warrior of Light pass through here earlier?"
"I did! What do you think she's all the way out here for?"
"Who knows. I heard she was going to the cave nearby."
"That's so strange…I wonder why she'd go to that old place."
I let out a frustrated groan. Why couldn't she just call me here like a normal person?
I asked the two gossiping women for directions to this cave, and they were able to point me in the general direction.
I would go months at a time without seeing Fi, but when she did call upon me, it was often in the most inconvenient and irritating way possible; as is her wont.
Though I'll admit, when she did call upon me, it was rarely for anything unimportant. Even if was just for company while doing something difficult; I never found my time with her to be a waste, scarce as it was.
I would follow her to the ends of the world if I had to. Anything to see her smile and watch the warmth her guiding light blossom.
Something hit my nose and I flinched, looking around frantically for the culprit.
"You're suppose to catch it with your mouth, stupid" she giggled, crouched by a bush near the cave's opening. "C'mere and keep your voice down" she motioned for me to crouch beside her.
"What are you doing?"
"Shh" she hushed me, much to my annoyance and handed me a hempen bag full of red grapes. "Take some" she whispered.
Her gaze was fixed on whatever was in the cave, expression dark and serious--a stark contrast to her natural mischief just a few moments ago. It was almost unsettling to see her so.
I could hear soft murmurs coming from within the cave, though I couldn't make any sense of what was being said. She seemed to be able to understand them though, as she was focusing intently, ears slanted forward.
Silently out of nowhere, she stood up and turned to leave. "Fi?" I questioned.
She shook her head with a small but gentle smile that didn't meet her eyes. "It's fine. Let's go, it's getting late."
I should have questioned her. I should have asked what was wrong--what it was she heard that drained the smile and laughter from her face; but I didn't.
I trailed slightly behind her as we walked through fields bathed in the pinks and oranges of the final light of day. We walked in silence back towards the village.
"Zez--" she paused "I…" her eyes seemed to dart over my face, as if looking for what to say. "Are you happy…with the life you have now?"
It was an odd question, I thought, but I answered nonetheless with a shrug "reasonably."
"I love mine" she started "so much. It's all I ever dreamed of, but…if I had to change something…" she trailed off, and I hummed in question."
"It's silly, really" she breathed a laugh and let out a sniff, wiping her face with her forearm. Was she crying? It was hard to tell as she'd turned back away from me.
"I'm sure it's not"
"But it is! It's such a silly, trivial wish. I have everything I'd ever dreamed of since we were kids. It's selfish of me to want any more, but I…"
"Tell me." I moved to place my hand on her shoulder with a gentle smile. She turned to look at me again and I could see the faint outline of tears staining her cheeks.
I could get lost in the seas of those glittering diamond eyes for hours. Beautiful and boundless as the night sky--as if they held the very stars themselves and all the secrets of this world in their expanse.
Even after she'd been crying a little, her eyes still seemed to glow in the twilight of the sun.
I thought sometimes that she could see through to my very soul. She always seemed to find wonder and beauty in everything, no matter how ugly it was.
She always looked past the exterior to what was within. Perhaps that is why the world was always so beautiful in her eyes.
"Zez…" she murmured as she moved to take my hands in hers. For a few moments, her gaze avoided mine to fix on the soft circles she was drawing on my hands. "I…" I felt a hand gently move to cradle my cheek as she moved closer.
"Forgive me for this" she murmured, and before I could so much as utter a word of protest or question, she pressed her lips to mine.
It felt so impossible good that I let out a soft moan at the sensation. I had kissed many, but it was never like this. When I didn't resist or pull away, she held me tighter like it was a desperate attempt to try and savour everything she could.
She was my light, illuminating the dark and lifting the vale of fog that I'd never once noticed before now. She was a lighthouse guiding weary sailors to safety--a star by which to chart a course, and a vibrant flame providing warmth to all in its vicinity.
She was so many things, and I'd forgotten just how alive I felt in her presence. To leave her was death, and to be with her was a gift of new life.
But all too soon would she pull away, gazing at me with watery eyes. "I love you" she whispered. Her warmth on my cheek was extracted as she turned to walk away.
It was all I could do to stand and watch as she walked off into the distance, brown hair flowing behind her in the breeze, bathed in the final moments of twilight.
It had felt like a fever dream, and I was at a loss for words.